I have the great fortune and pain of traveling rather frequently on business. I see my share of Marriotts, Hiltons, and Holiday Inns. My skin has been inadvertently exfoliated by overbleached towels. The sound of blackout drapes scraping across curtain rods is all too familiar. I can find ice machines in my sleep.

Every once in awhile, though, I get to stay in cool places. It used to be that my September trip to Anaheim was the tops on my list. Oh, you need me to stay in a Disney resort where I get discounted tickets to see “The Mouse”? Darn. Twist my rubber arm.

Sorry Mickey, after last year’s rather lackluster performance, you’ve been bumped from the top of my list…by a president, no less. Well, actually, the son of a president who built a hotel and named it after his dad, who happens to share the same name.

Image courtesy of hotel website.

I’m talking about the US Grant Hotel adjacent San Diego’s Gaslamp District. In short, fan-freaking-tastic. The property was recently renovated and restored to all of its original glory. The smell of wallpaper paste is still fresh in the hallways. Each lobby, foyer, and corridor is adorned with amazing paintings and sculptures. Hell, even my padded headboard was art. My room walls were covered with picture frame mouldings and the floors were covered with amazing carpets. Even the shower floor was festooned with a basketweave tile. Aesthetically speaking, this has to be one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever stayed in.

Image courtesy of hotel website

The service was as amazing as the decor. Short of the great housekeeping incident of Tuesday night, the staff took amazing care to ensure my every desire was met. Their valets, front desk staff and bellhops were courteous and attentive. The bellhop even took a subtle second to check my name on my luggage tag and thank me by name for my tip (and trust me, my last name is no walk in the park).

When I was having issues with my TV remote, guest services sent engineering up within 10 minutes. It tuned out I was attempting to use the Bose sound system remote for the TV, so they brought up the correct remote (which was missing). I asked the engineer for the location of the ice machine, which was unfortunately three floors down. He graciously offered to retrieve ice for me. Five minutes later, guest services called to make sure the TV was working and informed me that room service was on their way with the ice.

Knock Knock. Here comes my ice. Holy heck. I’ve seen smaller buckets overturned on football coaches’ heads. I had noticed a note on the weight-sensitive minibar fridge (it’s one of those that charged you $20 if you looked at the microscopic vodka bottle for more than 30 seconds) that said they had regular mini-fridges upon request. So, when guest services called to ensure that the iceman cameth, I asked about the legend of the minifridge so I could safely stow my healthy snacks for the duration of my stay. Not only did they say “yes,” but there was no charge. Apparently they’re free on a first-come, first served basis. I was happy. My yogurt was thrilled. My carrots were ecstatic. I think I heard my grapes singing with glee. (Well, maybe that last part was a stretch. The last time I heard grapes sing was a Fruit of the Loom commercial, and I don’t think that situation ended well for anyone involved.)

Since I am on a campaign to shed the double chin off my ass, I trouped down to the hotel gym for a short workout to justify the dinner I was planning to consume later in the evening. I slid my room key into the door. The green light flashed and the lock clicked, but I couldn’t get the door to pull open. Hmmm. Let’s try that again. And again. And again. No dice.

At this point, I figured there was an idiot in the room. I admitted defeat and trouped up the steps to the front desk where a staffer practically skipped back down to assist me in my folly. He slid his master key in and pushed the door to let me in. Then he wished me a happy workout and went on his way, never even hinting at the “what a dumbass” kind of sarcasm that I so richly deserved.

Yep. This is a classy joint. AND that’s classy with a “C”, not with a “K”.

Such class comes with a pricetag, though. I was fortunate to stay on a special rate, so I didn’t have to pay the $369+taxes and fees the King room retailed for (at full price). In this case, though, if you’re a high-end traveler, or you’re looking to have a special getaway with historic grandeur in San Diego, I think you’ll be hard pressed to beat the US Grant. Keep an eye out for deals, though, especially for weeknight or off season travel. I found some surprising deals online.

One thing I know for sure. As long as I have breath in my body, my children will never so much as step foot in the lobby of this place. They’d break something within five minutes and college plans would be replaced with dishpan hands for life.

Ahh beautiful, sunny San Diego.

Home of sandy beaches, beautiful blue water littered with colorful sailboats , beautiful people living beautiful lives.

It’s a frequent weekend oasis for Vegas folk needing a break from the hotter than Hades temperatures from June to September.

That’s why I packed up  and took my crew, including my awesome mom, a few weeks ago. We met up with some good friends one day for a romp around the amusement park ode-to-danish-plastic-blocks that is Legoland.  If that weren’t exhausting enough, we arose the next day and played with some new watery pals at Sea World.

Rather than give you a boring play by play, I’ll give you some tips to help you on your next foray into these magical concrete jungles. Today, we’ll start with part I: Legoland.

1. This is a summertime park. Normally I’m an advocate of the off-season, especially when it comes to amusement parks. Lines are shorter, crowds are in better moods when it’s not so hot, rates are better, and so on. But when it comes to Legoland, you really need to do this one in the heat. So much of the park features water play. From fountains to pirate ships to water slides, this place is one big drenchfest.

2. Just put them in their swimsuits and leave them there. See #1. It goes for you too. Bringing a towel is up to you. My kids were dry in five minutes, so I was glad to leave the excess bulk behind at Chez Howard Johnson. You may not be a “water” person, but trust me, you’re gonna want to get in there and play with your kids. Oh, and that white t-shirt? Wear a suit under it. Legoland is a family show – no one wants to see your boobalas a la Tampa Spring break (well, maybe some dads would enjoy the oogles on your boobles, so use your discretion.)

3. Wear shoes to walk in and be prepared to hike. This is not a flat park. If you’re hauling a stroller or a tempermental two-year-old, or (as in my case) both, you’re gonna get a workout. Keep those cute espadrilles at home. Wear shoes you can walk in and don’t mind walking in wet (again, see #1).

4. Pace yourself. One of the great features of this park is that there’s a lot to do that doesn’t require you to turn your legs into a varicose veined mess resembling a Texas road map. Stop and play at the playgrounds, water fountains and slides. Catch a break from the sun by darting into one of the building stations equipped with thousands of legos allowing kids to construct to their hearts’ content. This was a great way to have some “quiet time” for my overstimulated princess and little dude who loved the stop with the racing ramp.

"Hey Mom! Can I take HER home with us?!?!"

5. Pick your souvenirs smartly. Yes, it’s tempting to buy a realy cool lego set at Legoland, but odds are you can probably find the same set on Amazon for much cheaper. I actually managed to walk out of their plastic-crap and stuffed animal-free, well, if yu don’t count the plastic cups from their lunch and dinner kids meals. Ahh yes. That reminds me…

6. Pack it in. They say “no picnicking”, and they do check bags for security, but, in retrospect, I wish we would have packed a lunch instead of ininvesting in kids’ meals. Packing frozen Capri Suns worked well in the heat and we brought some snacks, but the $40 on grilled cheese and chicken fingers and pizza was pretty crazy.

You just can't escape the lines, even blockheads have to wait.

7. Go strolling. If you are traveling with multiple children, the park’s double strollers are great. We hauled three kids and a ton of stuff in and on ours  at multiple points throughout the day. Although 3/4 of our tiny troupe could have walked most of it, it was nice to have them all contained in one three-square foot space. Some kids that day (none of ours, mind you) even napped in them. It was easy to maneuver as well. Well worth the $16 rental + $2 deposit.

Not exactly scream-tastic.

8. Don’t expect thrills and spills. This is Legoland, not a Six Flags park or Coney Island. Granted I was here with little ones, so anything that had a height requirement of more than 45″ was out of our plan. That said, most of the screams we heard that day came from our two-year-old tantrum factory, not the the park’s “big kid” rides. If you’re looking to lose your lunch post-ride, save your pennies for a different park.

Apparently the helicopter ride was scream-tastic for my two-year-old boy.

The boat ride was much more to his liking, and grandma's too!

9. Stay for the fireworks. This is the park’s 10th anniversary and they do a great show. It’s not quite Disney drama, but my kids loved watching it from the backside of the Vegas cityscape (in legos, of course).

Come back later this week for the second half of the San Diego review  — Sea World.