Last week, I caught a showing of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in Downtown Disney. Yes, I saw it without my kids. In my defense, my five-year-old daughter  had no interest in seeing it and there’s no way my two-year-old son was going to sit still long enough for anyone to enjoy the show. So, it was date night and dinner was on the screen.

Overall, it was a really cute movie. From what I’ve heard, the story is a departure from the literary version, but the general concept remains: Boy inventor creates machine that makes food fall from the sky. Wackyness ensues. Hero wins the day. Very much the stuff that’s made Disney millions over the years. And in this case, deservedly so.

I wish my daughter had been with me to see this. She gets a little freaked out by scary villains, and the only true antagonist here was bad behavior – greed, gluttony and pride, along with some well-intentioned parental pushing/child-trying-to-make-dad-proud motivations. Oh, and there’s some very cute “impress the girl” moments.

The movie does get a little preachy in some parts, but the lessons are not lost on me. Here are some of the few I noted during the film. Yes, these will make more sense if/when you see the film, so if you haven’t feel free to print out the list and take it with you. It’ll be like I’m sitting next to you and filling your ears with my whispery snarks. Trust me, it’ll enhance the experience.

Lessons learned from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs:

• An economy dependent on sardines is doomed to fail.
• Sardines need better PR.
• Tesla rocks.
• Mr. T is hilarious, especially when he’s drawn in tiny shorts and a reverse Mohawk.
• Men with unibrows are inherently oppressive and monkeys named Steve are inherently funny.
• Smart girls are hot.
• I can spend an entire animated movie guessing voices.
• There is never an inappropriate time for bacon.
• Food puns are always bad.
• Those aren’t chocolate snowballs.
• First dates with jello are romantic.
• People who tease nerds should have their asses kicked.
• Boys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses.
• There is no graceful exit from a jello castle.
• Kids want to make their parents proud.
• Parents want their kids to learn from their wisdom.
• Bigger isn’t always better.
• Genetic mutation = bad
• Tux t-shirts are an awesome fashion statement only when complimented by a lab coat.
• Fat men in diapers are always disturbing.
• I hate tornadoes. Even spaghetti tornadoes.
• Cute furry animals can always be a dangerous distraction.
• Vegas buffets are deadly.
• Parents will kiss their kids after they puke. That’s love, I tell you.
• Make sure your parents know how to use the Internet in case you need to save the world.
• Mama’s gotta be a good wide receiver.
• Putting the word “Chicken” before you name makes you a pseudo hero.
• Never fake a nut allergy.
• Gummi bears are evil.
• Pee before you see this movie.
• Sad monkeys make me cry.
• Invent species that can save you later.
• Get that monkey’s translator thing. I totally need that in a few years for the “sex talk” with the kids.
• Blowfish kisses are hawt.

So, go see the movie and enjoy. We passed on the 3-D version, but I’d love to hear of anyone who experienced the true theatrical food fight.